Why Newborns Love to Be Held (and How It Benefits Them)

7 April 2025

Ah, newborns. Those tiny, squishy bundles of joy that somehow manage to steal your sleep, your free time, and your heart—all at once. If you've recently welcomed a little human into your life, you've probably noticed one undeniable fact: they love to be held. Like, all the time. Put them down? Instant meltdown. Pick them up? Peace and quiet (well, at least for a few minutes).

But why do newborns crave being held so much? And is it actually good for them? Spoiler alert: Yes, holding your baby is not only completely normal, but it’s also incredibly beneficial for their development. Let’s dive into the science, the benefits, and how to handle (pun intended) your little cuddle monster without losing your sanity.

The Science Behind the Snuggles

Newborns aren’t being dramatic when they cry the moment you put them down. Their need to be held is deeply rooted in biology. Think about it—before birth, they were in the coziest, most comforting environment imaginable: the womb. It was warm, snug, and constantly moving. Now, they’re out in the big, bright world, and everything is unfamiliar. Naturally, they seek comfort in the closest thing to their womb experience—you!

The Fourth Trimester Theory

There’s a popular concept called the "fourth trimester," which suggests that human babies are essentially born too soon. Compared to other mammals, newborns are incredibly helpless. They need constant care, warmth, and reassurance. Holding them replicates the security they felt in the womb, making the transition to the outside world a little less overwhelming.

The Power of Skin-to-Skin Contact

Skin-to-skin contact isn’t just a fancy hospital recommendation—it’s backed by science. When you hold your baby against your bare skin, it regulates their heart rate, temperature, and even breathing. It also releases oxytocin (a.k.a. the "love hormone") in both you and your baby, strengthening your bond while reducing stress. Pretty magical, right?

The Benefits of Holding Your Newborn

So, is holding your baby all the time spoiling them? Absolutely not! In fact, it’s doing wonders for their development. Here’s why:

1. It Helps Them Feel Safe and Secure

Imagine being thrown into a foreign land where nothing makes sense. That’s basically what birth is like for a newborn. When you hold them, they feel protected, just like they did inside the womb. This security builds a sense of trust, which is the foundation for healthy emotional development.

2. It Soothes Their Nervous System

Newborns don’t have fully developed nervous systems yet, which means they can get overwhelmed easily. Loud noises, bright lights, hunger, diaper changes—it’s all a lot to handle. Being held helps regulate their nervous system, keeping them calmer and less fussy.

3. It Strengthens Your Bond

Those early days with your baby are crucial for attachment. The more you hold and respond to their needs, the stronger your bond becomes. And guess what? That secure attachment will shape their future relationships and emotional well-being. No pressure, right?

4. It Supports Brain Development

Babies’ brains are developing at an astonishing rate, and touch plays a crucial role in that growth. When you hold your baby, it stimulates neural pathways that enhance cognitive functions, emotional regulation, and even language development. Basically, cuddles are brain food.

5. It Helps with Digestion and Colic Relief

Ever noticed how your baby calms down (or even dozes off) right after being picked up? That’s because being held can aid digestion and relieve colic symptoms. The gentle motion of your breathing and heartbeat mimics the rhythmic movements they felt in the womb, helping soothe tummy troubles.

But What About Spoiling?

One of the biggest myths in parenting is that holding your baby too much will "spoil" them. Let’s set the record straight: newborns cannot be spoiled. They don’t have the cognitive ability to manipulate you just yet (give it a few years, though). Right now, they simply have needs—and one of those needs is to be held.

You’re not creating bad habits; you’re building a foundation of love, trust, and security. Babies who receive consistent love and comfort in their early months tend to grow into confident, independent children. So go ahead—embrace the snuggles while you can!

How to Balance Holding Your Baby and Getting Things Done

Of course, while holding your baby 24/7 sounds lovely in theory, real life doesn’t exactly work like that. You’ve got dishes to wash, meals to cook, and, let’s be honest, a desperate need for a shower. So how do you keep your baby close while still managing daily tasks?

1. Use a Baby Carrier

Babywearing is an absolute game-changer. A good carrier keeps your baby snug against you while leaving your hands free. Whether you're folding laundry, making coffee, or just scrolling Instagram, a baby carrier lets you multitask while keeping your little one happy.

2. Take Turns With Your Partner

If you have a partner, share the baby-holding duties. This gives you the chance to have a break while allowing them to bond with the baby. Win-win!

3. Try a Rocker or Bouncer

Sometimes, babies just want to feel movement. A baby rocker, swing, or bouncer can provide the gentle motion they crave while giving your arms a rest.

4. Swaddle for Comfort

Swaddling mimics the snug feeling of being held, which can help your baby feel secure even when you’re not carrying them. Just make sure they’re swaddled safely to avoid any risks.

5. Accept Help

If family or friends offer to help, say yes! Whether it’s holding the baby while you nap or tackling household chores, a little extra support can go a long way.

Enjoy the Snuggles While They Last

Fast forward a few months (or years), and that tiny baby who once wanted nothing more than to be held might suddenly be too busy crawling, walking, or insisting they’re "too big" for cuddles. It happens before you know it, so as exhausting as it can be, try to cherish this phase.

There will be nights when you’re running on fumes, afternoons when your arms ache from endless rocking, and moments when you wonder if you’ll ever have personal space again. But these are the moments that shape your baby’s world.

So snuggle up, breathe in that intoxicating newborn smell, and remind yourself: This won’t last forever. But the bond you’re building? That will.