What to Do When the Bullying Doesn't Stop: A Parent's Action Plan

6 March 2025

Bullying. It’s one of those words that instantly makes a parent’s stomach churn. We all wish our kids could go through life without crossing paths with it, but unfortunately, bullying is more common than we’d like to admit.

Most of the time, kids come home, tell us a story, and after a conversation or two, the bullying stops. But what happens when it doesn’t? What happens when, despite all your efforts, the bullying just keeps going? It's heartbreaking and frustrating, but it's not a hopeless situation. In fact, there are practical steps you can take when the bullying doesn’t stop.

Here’s your action plan, step by step.

1. Listen and Validate Their Feelings

Let's start with the most important part: listening. Kids need to feel heard. They need to know that what they’re saying matters to you and that their feelings are valid. It’s easy to jump into “problem-solving mode,” but the first step is to listen without interrupting. Allow your child to pour out their emotions.

When they’re done, validate how they feel. Say things like, “I’m so sorry this is happening to you,” or “I can see how much this is upsetting you.” This shows them that not only are you listening, but you’re understanding their pain.

Why Is This Important?

When a child feels like nobody understands them, or that their problem is being minimized, they might stop sharing their feelings altogether. But with your support, they’ll feel safe and more confident in talking about what’s going on.

2. Avoid Overreacting

As parents, our first instinct when we hear about bullying is to lash out. Let’s be real: If we could march over to the bully’s house and give them a piece of our mind, we probably would. But here’s the thing—overreacting (even with the best of intentions) can sometimes make your child feel worse. They might become worried about how you’re going to handle the situation, or they may even feel guilty for causing your distress.

Instead, take a deep breath and make sure your response is calm, reassuring, and centered around your child’s well-being. You want them to feel like they’re in the driver’s seat when it comes to how this situation is handled, not like a bystander to your emotions.

3. Document Everything

Once the bullying doesn’t stop, it’s time to get organized. Start documenting everything: dates, times, what happened, who was involved, and any correspondence with teachers or school officials. Keeping a written record is crucial if the situation escalates and you need to take it to higher authorities.

How to Keep Track

- Use a notebook or a digital file.
- Attach any evidence like screenshots, messages, or photos.
- Be as specific as possible—include every single detail that might be useful later on.

Documenting everything helps build a solid case if more serious interventions are needed.

4. Collaborate With the School

If the bullying is happening at school, then it’s time to involve teachers, school counselors, or even the principal. Start by setting up a meeting. Be calm but firm, and present your documentation as evidence. Make it clear that this is a serious issue.

Keep the Dialogue Open

After this initial meeting, don’t assume the problem is solved. Keep checking in with the school regularly to see what actions are being taken. Schools are required to follow certain guidelines when it comes to bullying, so if the situation doesn’t improve, you can push for more serious interventions.

Remember to ask the school to report back to you regarding what steps they're taking. It’s okay to be persistent—your child’s safety is the priority.

5. Empower Your Child With Social Skills

It’s easy for victims of bullying to feel powerless. As much as we want to swoop in and fix the situation for them, we also need to teach our kids how to handle social conflicts on their own—especially when we’re not there to intervene.

Teach Them Assertiveness

Encourage your child to speak assertively, not aggressively. Bullies often go after kids who are perceived as “easy targets” because of passive or anxious reactions. Teach your child to stand tall, make eye contact, and speak in a strong, confident voice.

Role Play Scenarios

A great way to do this is through role-playing. Practice different scenarios at home where they can practice their assertive responses. This can help build their confidence for when they face the bully again.

6. Encourage Healthy Friendships

One of the best defenses against bullying is strong friendships. Bullies tend to pick on kids who are isolated. If your child feels alone, try encouraging them to join social activities or groups where they can make new friends. Whether it’s sports, art classes, or other hobbies, these environments can offer a sense of belonging and support.

Buddy Systems for Safety

Suggest the idea of sticking with a friend or group during vulnerable times, like lunch or recess, when bullying tends to happen the most. There’s power in numbers, and even having just one friend can make a world of difference.

7. Monitor Online Activity

In today’s digital age, bullying isn’t just happening in the schoolyard; it’s happening online, too. If your child is facing cyberbullying, your intervention might look a little different. First, it’s essential to talk to your child about online safety and privacy.

Steps to Take for Cyberbullying:

1. Block and report the bully on social media platforms.
2. Limit screen time to help reduce exposure to potential harassment.
3. Review privacy settings on all social media accounts to ensure only trusted friends can interact with your child online.
4. Save all messages or evidence of the bullying for future reference.

Even though cyberbullying can feel overwhelming, there are ways to stop it in its tracks, especially with the help of reporting tools available on most platforms.

8. Don’t Hesitate to Seek Professional Help

When bullying persists, it can take a toll on your child’s mental health. For some kids, therapy can be incredibly beneficial. A trained counselor or therapist can help your child process their emotions, develop coping strategies, and rebuild their self-esteem.

What To Look For:

Seek out professionals who specialize in childhood trauma or bullying. Sometimes, just having a neutral third party to talk to can make kids feel much more empowered. Plus, they can gain long-term tools for managing not just bullying, but life’s many challenges.

9. Know When to Involve Legal Authorities

If all else fails and the bullying escalates to harassment, threats, or physical violence, it’s time to take things to the next level. In extreme cases, don’t be afraid to involve legal authorities. Your child’s safety comes first.

When to Consider Legal Action:

- If the bullying is threatening your child’s physical safety.
- If the school fails to adequately address the problem despite multiple interventions.
- If the bullying involves aggressive or unlawful behavior (such as sexual harassment or hate crimes).

Documenting the incidents, involving the school, and staying persistent are all steps that will help build a case if legal involvement becomes necessary.

10. Be Their Rock

Most importantly, be your child’s emotional rock during this difficult time. They need your support more than ever. Constantly remind them they are not to blame for what’s happening. Children (and even teens) sometimes internalize bullying, thinking it’s something about them that’s causing the behavior.

Reassure them that they are loved, valued, and important, no matter what this bully has to say. It’s crucial that your child feels safe and loved at home, even when the outside world feels hostile.

Final Thoughts: Bullying Isn’t Forever

Bullying is a horrible experience for any child—and for their parents, too. But it isn’t forever. By tackling this issue with a combination of empathy, strategy, and action, you can help your child navigate through this storm and come out stronger on the other side. It will take persistence, but remember: you are not alone in this, and your child has you to lean on every step of the way.

Stay strong, stay patient, and don’t give up. Together, you and your child will find a way through.